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Today I got 2 cute hatchlings, one in yellow and the other with yellow and black.
The other two I kept from all hatchlings in the last weeks were outside in the garden, while the other two had to stay inside.
But it's so warm, I think they can stay in the garden as well tomorrow.

Now I took the older ones in and the biggest one decided, to visit the small ones :-)

Sad thing is, I have to sell the new ones and every following hatchling, cause I already have more than enough hens and roosters.

The pedigree

I never had a huge interest for the pedigree of my wonderful stallion.
Papers aren't important for me, important is the animal itself, doesn't matter if a horse, a cat, a dog or what ever.
No long pedigree would make me love an animal more, it's just a paper, nothing more!
Important for others, who are willing to pay any price, as long as the pedigree is long enough with a lot of famous names.

Or for breeders, who wanna do it professional, I totally understand, cause again, people wouldn't buy a horse without a pedigree.
And yes, it's important, so one can be sure that there won't be any inbreed, that would be a nightmare!

Well, today I took a look and WOW it seems, that my wonderful Angel has his roots back to the Damele's.

Now I can understand, why he is the father to almost every foal born in Norway.
Ok, maybe not almost all, but for sure to many, many of them.

The curly horse history - part 3

Well, this isn't about history, so I should use another category, but then again, I would end up with a lot of categories, all with just 2 or 3 posts.

This is, what I can tell about the curly horse :-)

The curly horse, as the name is telling you, has curled fur.
Many of them only in the winter time, only the tail and the mane are curled and they have this curled hair in their ears all year long.
For me it's like you see a huge living teddy bear ;-)
They are hypoallergenic, that means, people who are suffering from an allergy have the possibility to be around them.
Some still can have an allergic reaction, but not as strong as to "usual" horses.
Sadly, there is a huge BUT!
Once a nice young lady was here to visit and be around my horses, to find out, if there will be an allergic reaction or not.
We couldn't understand, why she reacted so much, that she had to leave the farm. It was so sad and bitter, cause I had the huge hope, that she will have the possibility, to be with the horses.
What no one of us knew back then, that a foal can cause an allergic reaction anyway.
I was told about it later, when it was too late :-(
And I had a foal on the meadow and the young lady loved to be around it.
If I had known, I would never had the young woman coming close to it!

So if you ever wanna look out for a curly horse, be aware, that a foal can cause a reaction!

The curly horse history - part 2

And again, what Mike Laughlin wrote about the curly horse.

You may ask yourself after reading this Damele/ Nevada Curly Horse history, “How did these horses get to Nevada in the beginning?” So far, to my knowledge, no one has proven where these Eureka County “Curlies” came from, but there are many theories concerning this issue, including:
The horses came across the Bering Straight before the last ice age;

Russian settlers brought Curly horses to America from Russia

An Irishman named Tom Dixon imported curly horses to the Eureka area. Dixon imported two pregnant Curly mares and a Curly stud from India and turned them loose with the mustangs in the 1880s.

The horses are native born mutations.

The horses are remnants of pre-Spanish horses.
There are still reports by the ranchers and Bureau of Land Management employees that Curly horses have been recently observed running with the mustangs in Eureka County, Nevada.
©Mike Laughlin

The curly horse history - part 1

I found a text about curly horses, written by Mike Laughlin, the best, one ever could find.

I will copy some of what he has written about the curly horse.
You can find the whole text here: Mike Laughlin - The Curly Horse

John Damele and his two boys while riding, checking cattle saw horses with “curly hair” running with the mustang wild horse herds. The sight of horses with long curly hair was not easily forgotten. ...

In 1932 there was a devastating winter in the Three Bar Ranch country. Deep snow and bitter cold hung on for months. When spring came and the ranch horses were gathered from where they had “wintered out,” the only horses the Damele boys could find alive were the Curly horses. All of the non-Curly horses had perished in this hard winter. No one needed to tell the Dameles what they had witnessed. This was a real turning point in their thinking. True stockman that they were, they realized that if the “curlies” could be broken to ride and turned into cow horses, they certainly could be relied upon to stay alive when other horses perished in the harsh winters of Central Nevada. ...

The winter of 1951 and 1952 was another brutal, cold winter with deep snow. When spring came, once again, the only horses left alive were the Curlies. The Dameles decided to start breeding Curly horses in earnest that spring. Before that, Curlies had just been around in the horse herd. They caught their first Curly horse stud out of a herd of mustangs, named him Copper D, and broke to him ride as a two-year old.
©Mike Laughlin

Rekarnes Asori

It's in time to write something about my wonderful horse, my Angel.
His name on the papers is Rekarnes Asori, but this is just an information, if you wanna know.

Remember, my Love bought a horse, a curly horse, it was a nice gelding with the name Kentucky Dream.
He was a beauty and a very nice guy, but there was no connection between him and me.
With him I had the worst experience ever, but this is another story, not to tell now.

He was alone and I was asked, if Asori can come to my place, as company for Kentucky.
I said yes and the day he came, I fell in love. Immediately!
And there was this connection, from the very first moment ♥

It took a while til I could call him MY horse, and even though I can't ride him, he's the best what ever happened to me, when it comes to horses.

I will write more about him, also posting photos from him, telling about another love, that is older than you can imagine.

An invisible ostrich maybe?

Every day I go to the chicken coop to take out the eggs.
Some of my hens decided to sit on them and maybe, if we're lucky, some chicken will hatch.
And I put all other eggs in the breeding machine and this way I got already over 40 chicken :-)

Yesterday I went to the coop to collect the eggs and I was stunned!

Look closely at this one huge egg!
I found big eggs, of course, my Brahma hens and roosters are big, very big. But never before I found an egg this big.
Like all other eggs, I wrote the date on, so I know, when the time is there for the chicken to hatch.
I always wait some more days, before I take an egg out, just in case, it could be a late hatchling.

Please cross your fingers with me, that there will be a hatchling from this big egg.
I'm so exited to see, how it will look like :-)

Another card in the mailbox and a mail to my mom

End of March I got another card, kind of a "Thank you card" to all, who had sent wishes and condolences to the mother of my Love.
Well, I know, that I never sent anything to her, why should I?
They ignored me, they silenced me out, they did, as if I don't exist at all.
I put it beside and had only one wish on my mind:
Leave me alone!

But no, it seems, this lawyer don't wanna give up, cause my mom got a email on the 05.05.2020
Well, she got the mail, but it was written to me
Dear Mrs. ...,

Thanks for sending a photo from the house.

In the meantime we have found the different payments for the purchase prices.

As a matter of form, so I can orient the heirs, I'd be obliged, if you would send me a copy of the contract, in which the house was assigned in your name, so everything is clear.

Kind regards

I know, I haven't sent a photo and I don't know, who could have, there is no one!
And what different payments?
Also this insinuation, that the house wasn't bought by me, but was assigned later in my name?

And again I ignored it, in fact, I never got the mail, he sent it to my mom.
There are so many open questions, so many things, that don't make any sense at all.

Now I've reached the end of the memory lane.
Many times it was hard to write it all down, dealing with all this again, going through a lot of emotions.
Maybe I will find the answer to all one day, what happened and hopefully can make my peace with it.
I still have to deal with my doubts, the loss, the anger and the grief.
Sometimes I find myself sitting and crying, a smell, a photo or one of all these wonderful notes my Love wrote for me can be the reason.
And every time my sons are here for me, catching my fall, before I go down into the deep black.
I'm so grateful for my wonderful sons and proud as a mother can be.

End of the memory lane.
Thanks for staying with me :-)

My desperation and my wonderful sons

I couldn't sleep anymore, overwhelmed by all my worries. I just couldn't see, how we can keep the farm without the help of my Love.
And I wanted to sell all and everything, as fast as possible, before the bills would break us.
But my sons thought different and told me again and again, that we will be able to keep the farm.
Anyway, I had to sell the horses and more, and even more problems came up.
One of the foals seemed to be sick, but to get a vet here without the money to pay him, how should I do that?
I can't tell, how many tears I cried, cause I felt so helpless.
A friend of mine told someone about all this and I got a mail from C., she would take the foal with for free and take care of him, paying the vet and giving it a good home.
I agreed and the first foal left the farm.
And I was trying to sell another horse, but it seemed, no one was interested. I got some offers for the mare, but those were ridiculous and I said Thanks No.
Another mail came in, asking if I have another horse, an older one I would sell.
Well, there was the one, but I hadn't planed to sell her at all, old as she is, I felt it just wasn't right.
But in the end I gave in, sold her to a nice woman for a little money, only to give half of the money back, because they said, there was so much wrong with her.
Meanwhile this mare gave birth to a foal and I hope, all and everyone is happy.

My sons were working hard to get some money in, but still there were too many bills to pay. All those bills my Love used to pay.
I sold my car and finally we were able to pay all bills and were able to breath a little bit easier.
Still I wanted to sell the farm, I thought it would be the best thing to do.
My sons said NO!

A letter from the lawyer

One day in March I got a letter from the lawyer.
But instead of some information, he only wrote:
Dear Mrs. ...

after our talk on the phone, I would be obliged, when you send me a photo from the house, bought in your name, and the buying contract as well.

Thanks in advance and greetings

err WHAT?
Sending him a photo from my house?
Why in heavens name?
And the contract?

So I decided to ignore this letter, there was absolutely no reason for me, to send him anything.

I remember many talks I had with my Love, my concern, what would be, if something happens to him and if I ever would find out, because I doubted that his mother or his brother would inform me.
He told me not to worry, cause he had changed his last will and that he put me with in. Also he said, that his lawyer knows about me and will inform me asap if ever anything should happen to him.
Well, you know by now, that no one informed me, but my mother.
And without the commission from my mother they found in his papers, I doubt that we ever would have heard a thing.

Something very wrong was going on!

An obituary

In the end of February I got a card, it was an obituary.
Plain and noble, plain the text, noble the paper.

I used photoshop to write in the english translation and to hide the names.

I was speechless!
No emotions, not a single word like "a huge loss" or "my beloved son" NOTHING at all!
And of course not hand signed either.
Now, everyone is dealing with the loss of a beloved child on a different way, but this here is ways too cold for me.
Ice cold, no feelings at all.
Was this for real?

That's it! Is it?

If you thought, that the story ends here, you couldn't be more wrong!

After some days I called the lawyer again, I needed some answers, but he only told me, I have to send him a real letter with the post, he wouldn't answer on the phone or via email.
And then he asked me, if I know, that my Love wanna buy a house in Norway.
Pay attention! He asked not in the past tense!
And he asked, if I know, that my Love owes a boat.
Again NOT past tense, but present!
But he told me, that my Love passed away and his mother and his NEW! girl friend were with him.
Why the "new"?
No one would ever say something like that, not in a situation like this, but the lawyer did.

Because he denied to tell me anything I wrote a letter, but ... NO answer at all.
So I started to search for our old friends we had in common and asked, if anyone had heard anything.
And I was told, that something went wrong at the dentist under an anesthesia and that they brought him from Germany to a hospital in Switzerland, where he passed away.

There is a page, where you can look up every one who passed away in Switzerland.
To this day the name of my Love isn't there!

If you think, all this is weird, just wait, more will follow and some evil is playing with.

And the hell opened up its gates for me

It was my moms birthday, Valentines day, 14.02.2020

I called her for some birthday wishes, but before I was able to say a word, she said:
He passed away :-(

I wouldn't believe it and she forwarded me the mail she got.

Dear Mrs. ...,

Mr. XXX XXX sadly passed away in XXX in Switzerland.

Many greetings


I called the lawyer right away, my body was shaking, but my brain still was working.
After I said, who I am, he only said:
There is no last will
and hang up!

I was sitting here, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but crying.
The next I remember was, that my youngest son stood beside me, calling his brother to come home from work right now.
He brought me to the doc, I got a pill to calm down and after the shaking was over, he brought me back home.

In the meantime my best friend was on her way to me, I don't know, who informed her, if it was me or one of my sons, it just doesn't matter.
She had sent me a message, that she's on her way to me and I answered, that I'm ok and after that I went into the bathroom.

What happened then was weird and that is, what I wanna tell you.

I found myself on the floor, I wasn't able to open my eyes, couldn't stand up and was waiting for someone to find me.
I felt the cold from the floor, my left arm was hurting from time to time, because I was laying on the hard cold floor.
And I was always listening, if I can hear the car from my friend, but nothing.

In the same time I was walking through a forest, it was a very dark forest, the trees were very huge and sky high and there was so much snow.
I saw footsteps in the snow and followed them and from time to time I saw a mans silhouette surrounded with a wonderful light, a color I've never seen before. I was able to see a beautiful green and yellow in this color, but then again, I can't explain, cause a color like this just don't exist.
I followed the steps and came to a dry river bed, big rocks laying around and I followed the dry river up a hill.
It was very steep and when I was on the top, I looked down into a canyon, wondering, where all the water was, cause I stood on top of a waterfall. A huge one, so high up in the mountain.
I turned around, tried to find the forest again, so I could follow the footsteps again, but wasn't able to.
And again and again I saw this beautiful light and the silhouette.
When I was at the foot of the mountain I finally was able to open my eyes and open the door to call my sons.

My oldest son helped me up and together with his brother he brought me downstairs into the living room.
He asked, how long I have been in the bathroom and I answered 5 to 10 minutes, and that I went to the bathroom after I sent the message to my friend.
So he took my phone, to check the time, looked at me with scared eyes and said: Mom, you have been there for 2 hours!

I know, that wasn't a dream and I also know, it wasn't because of the pill, I wasn't like under drugs or so, I was pretty clear in my head.
I was very aware about, that I was laying in the bathroom, the floor is cold enough to not forget that and it was very uncomfortable to lay there.
Still I don't know, what kind of experience it was, since it was almost without any emotions, no fear or anything like this.

I need a break now, will write more later.

Another doorstep to hell

February 2020

My mom got a mail:
Dear Mrs. ...,

Since many years I've counseled the family XXX
XXX XXX was damaged under a clinical intervention and at this time he isn't capable of acting nor sane.
We found a commission from you to him in his papers.
That's why we allow us to send you this information.
Can you please tell us, if we shall do something or need to know something?

Kind regards

I xxx-ed the names, I hope, everyone can understand why.

Pay attention, that it was my mom, NOT me, who got this mail!
I tried to get in contact with the mother and the brother of my Love, with no result at all.

I worried, I was scared and I wanted to know, in which hospital he was, so I can go and see him.
But they silenced me out!

If you think, this is not hell yet, damn you're right, cause it got worse!

Some belated Jul wishes

It was the 24th of December 2019 when he called me.
He wanted to wish us a wonderful Jul celebration, since he knew, that we don't celebrate Christmas.
Wondering where he was, I asked and he told me, that he is in Switzerland, at his mothers place, cooking a nice dinner.

It was a short, but wonderful call, he said, that he loves me and hang up.

If I only would had known ...
it was the last time that I should hear his voice :-(