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Tears

I'm trying to distract myself, working like a maniac, just to have my mind busy.
But the tears are sitting too close and I really have to get myself together, that I don't cry all the time.

It's a joy to see Stella running over the meadow and in the same moment it is killing me to know, that Precious and Stella have to go as well.
Not being able to see the little filly growing up, not being able to protect her and Precious from all poison, it's so damned hard.

Cleaning everything on the farm, preparing for the day we gonna sell it and move away.
And knowing, all this could have been avoided, if my Love would had taken care about some serious issues!
But nope, his boat, the paragliding, the alcohol, other women, traveling around the world, all this was so much more important than I.
I will never forget the last phone call, his soft words, his "I love you".
Really?
And then leaving me alone without anything!

I've been fooled, big times!