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How long is too long?

I'm wasting my time with waiting!
Waiting for a simple mail, waiting for some kind words.
20 days today and all the old wounds are itching again.
I was hurt so bad, and I cried ways too many tears, couldn't understand and never got an answer.
Even worse, the feeling that I got fooled, that I was only used and nothing more :-(
We found each other again after over 15 years and I was so happy.
I asked all, what I wanted to know back then and she said, she couldn't remember a thing.
Weird enough, but I accepted it, happy to have her back in my life.

I was thinking back and forth, again and again, if I should write a mail, telling her, how I'm feeling and how bad she hurt me again.
But I won't!
Time to let go! Definitively!


Never say never, cause never never works

Well, in my case it's different.

These moments, when you know, that your biggest wish never will come true.
This stupid hope, he could stand in the door one day ... and then? Nothing more than shattered glass, broken into thousand pieces.

I've been alone now for too many years, a stupid believer, hold up by his words: I'm back home ... soon.
This soon never came and he closed the door permanently.

If dead or alive, he is gone.
And even if he is alive, I know, he is ways too cowardly to ever come back.
Like he was in the last years, afraid to show up and I never found out why.
Such a coward!